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Today, I took a leap of faith. Make no mistake, I read the contract carefully before signing my life away. But today, I followed the advice I have been receiving for years. Well, I took an important step closer!!
Let’s back-track, a few years. I have been reading tarot cards for my own benefit for a long time, probably since I was an older teen. Like so many others, I started reading them for my own selfish purposes – when will I find love? Why haven’t I heard from him? Why is she so mean to me at the moment? That sort of thing.
When I moved into my own home, I started a different practice – reading for reflection and self-transformation. The year was 2006. I had left a very nasty partner (and sadly, his two beautiful beloved children), and was smarting from the challenges of that relationship. I had stayed with him for three reasons, two of those were his children (I loved them with all my heart and couldn’t bear to leave them), and because I thought that God must have put us together for a reason. What was the lesson I was meant to learn? Struggle as I might, I could not answer that one question. It was a relationship fraught with malice, and it was undignified to stay.
Eventually, I learned that the lesson was less about inter-relationship and more about self-relationship. I needed to know that I could be happy alone. Suddenly, in my own home, doing whatever I wanted on my own terms, I was free! There was no-one to pick up after, to nag or to be vilified by. I missed those kids – every day I have missed them – but I needed to be away from the toxicity of my relationship with their father.
In living my own life, I found myself pursued by a new man. My intuition told me he had feelings toward me, which were reciprocated, but I kept him at arms-length. It was fun! For the first time in my life, I revelled in the joy of being the centre of someone’s universe without the entrapment of being in a partnership. It was like dating, without the consummation. Friction! Frisson of excitement! A phone call, just as my favourite TV series was starting! The thrill of anticipation. For eighteen months!
During this time, I read my tarots every Sunday, and one card seemed to re-appear, for the entire time. Number 12. In my interpretation book, it was described as “suspension”, and the advice was always about seeing the value of patience. I got sick of patience!!!! I wanted action, immediately.
One week, I left the cards out on my dining table in that Sunday’s spread. I walked past and looked over them on my way to and from the kitchen, and suddenly another meaning of that card came to me, like a lightening bolt! It wasn’t so much about patience, but about changing my perspective, my viewpoint, my beliefs. If you look at this particular card, from one angle it looks like a guy is floating serenely in the water. From another angle, he’s dangling from a rope around his ankle (like he tripped over a rope-trap in a forest). Another angle shows him swimming freestyle like he’s in a race, and the last perspective shows him either dancing, leaping or reaching for something high above his head.
The point is, when you change your perspective, viewpoint, beliefs, you have the power to liberate yourself. What an awesome, amazing discovery! It changes everything.
And so, we come to this week. I was approached by Balboa Press to start the ball rolling on a book. At first, I thought, I’m not ready. But then I gave it a go. In less than two days, I’ve drafted four chapters. So, they’re not perfect. But I have a long list of family and friends who will help me get there.
So today, I bit the bullet. I signed with Balboa Press to publish and market my first book. Yesterday, I was just a little terrified!! But today, I feel like I’m doing what I love. With my heart and soul.
But there’s more! Just as I was finishing my international phone call with the Balboa Legal Rep and starting to sign my publishing agreement, the weirdest thing happened. The room in which I was typing was right next to my front door, and the doorbell which never rings even when people press the button, went off – with no-one in sight!!
So, I lit some candles and asked who it might be, and it was like a party of everyone in Heaven cheering me on (in spirit of course!). I pulled two cards (one from my Doreen Virtue Power Archangel Cards, and another from my Monty Farber and Amy Zerner Instant Tarot Cards). The first was Archangel Metatron (symbolising The Fool, Card #0 ~ Just trust! Take a leap of faith!). The second was Princess of Pentacles (symbolising the communication of practical things, trusting your natural instincts, and going for a new business idea).
So, I just thought I’d share with you this exciting news. And the freaky thing with my door-bell! Have you had a freaky experience lately? Why not drop me a line? I’d love to hear about it!
Remember – though all this was about funky personal stuff, I do the hard work that others don’t. I facilitate change in business in my own special way. I can deliver my SCORE, Wellbeing or Exemplar Workshops, or I can co-design Measurable Change Workshops for your organisation. Really, it’s that simple. Drop me a line!!