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True Self

Updated: Jul 21, 2021

Have you ever picked a card, or opened a book, at random? You read the message there before you, and it often resonates!

Sometimes, you find yourself at a crossroads, not knowing which way to go or what to do next. You do something completely unrelated, and the answer appears!

They say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. But, who are "they"??

Spiritual growth comes in all shapes and sizes, but it's usually not as we'd expect.

We go through life expecting things. We expect to learn at school. We expect our loved ones and the people who share our spaces to respect our stuff. We expect to be paid fairly (and well) for our work. We expect promotion and salary increases, and all sorts of leave entitlements.

When we don't get what we expect, we have a choice.

It's often that choice that gives us a chance to grow. That's because we can freeze in fear of the unknown, or of something horrible happening. We can let fly with a tantrum, and manifest all kinds of nastiness. Or, we can learn how to find the middle ground; whether that's a compromise or simply a mutual understanding.

A win-win is where both parties feel heard and understood. It takes patience, open-mindedness, tolerance, and a willingness to be wrong. The really beautiful thing about coming together to sort out an issue, is that it can lead to a stronger bond! This is because of a shared appreciation of each other's ability to stop and listen, to speak honestly and generously, to reflect and consider, and to find a solution with which both can be comfortable.

That's powerful stuff!! Imagine, that you are in the midst of an argument and you realise that you have the opportunity to empower both parties to be happy and at peace. It's not about handing over control to someone else; it's about understanding your own power in the situation.

You don't have to be angry. You can stand up for yourself in a calm and rational manner.

The same can be said for a lie. Sometimes, we tell little white lies to get out of something. Ever had a maths test, that you didn't want to do? My Mum used to ask me if I had homework, and I'd lie. I didn't see the benefit in doing homework because of my experiences with my piano teacher. The effects of that lie stayed with me for decades.

So, what about the lie that lives on? What about the lie that gets you out of lots of responsibilities, but also isolates you from living your life? It takes courage to confess to that one! But, imagine the positive repercussions of acting bravely!! Instead of being held back by your fears, you allow others to help you gain the ground that you've lost.

When I look back over my youth, it would have been great if I told my parents about the effect of my piano teacher's ranting. Mum knew that I had quit piano lessons, because I didn't think I should put up with the psychological abuse the old nun was doling out. But, I never said that it made me think that homework was a waste of time. If I'd had that conversation, my parents could have told me that homework would benefit me in ways I couldn't yet imagine. They could have helped me with my homework, or got me a tutor to catch up. My career trajectory would have been significantly different.

I'm not saying that things didn't turn out well, because I learned my lessons about homework and studying in unexpected ways. I was able to turn that experience into a pathway to wisdom, and I was able to write a great eBook to help others (as well as a seminar and workshop). I had a lot of fun preparing those, and I have a lot of fun delivering them!

So, we come full circle to having choices. And we come full circle to "True Self". If you're wondering why the title of this post is "True Self", then maybe you have missed the point (or I have miscommunicated!).

Every day, we have a choice; to be true to ourselves.

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