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Bringing the Sexy Back!

Updated: Feb 7, 2022

I met a friend for a coffee recently. I commented on how she was wearing lipstick under her mask, because every time I tried to do the same, the inside of my mask got red smears. There she was, looking gorgeous in her leather and boots, and I had dressed for cold weather and the possibility of a walk around the park ...

There was a habit, begging to be broken!

In this age of COVID, we've become used to a lot of things ... track pants below, business attire up top ... pyjamas in the middle of the day .... no bra, ever!

It's been great, in a lot of ways. So nice to be comfy! But, how are we looking to the people who share our space?

If, like me, you live in a "singles bubble", then you might not have someone to say that you've let yourself go! If you're in a couple, or a family with co-habitants, then you might have someone who is not so kind as to put it gently ...

But, let's take a good look at ourselves. Let's stand in each room of our homes, and see what's become of us. Have we become obsessed with keeping things tidy and clean? Is there hand sanitiser in every room (and at the front and back doors)? Have we gone too far?

It's so easy to let COVID become a serious matter (because it is). But, it also makes it easy for us to take ourselves and others too seriously.

Where's my flipside?

Here it is, under the rug! The flipside is that we might not take COVID, or anything else, seriously enough. Look around your home. Is it messy? Is there someone living in this space who just doesn't care? Maybe they used to care, but they don't anymore. That's a person who would concern me, because they might be showing signs of depression (if there were other blue flags).

A lot has been said about the effects of COVID on mental health, and there will be research into that for years to come. The reason the research will be so long-term, is because we will continue to see these effects inter-generationally, and it will be no-one's fault. We won't be able to blame anyone, and not having an adversary in this can make it hard for some.

But, let's bring the sexy back into life! Yeah!

Standing up for yourself is sexy, but joining an angry mob and being violent is not. Let's get clear on that. There are ways to get your point across, which don't involve violence and hurtful words.

And in the home, it's the same. Angry, harsh words don't achieve anything.

But a cheeky grin can do magic!

I was thinking back to when I was a kid, this morning, doing the dishes with my siblings. My sister had drawn up a roster, so we kids could all take turns at the various daily jobs - setting the table before dinner, clearing the table after dinner, washing up the dishes, drying the dishes, putting away the dishes (hey, I was the youngest of 9!), and sweeping the floors. That roster also meant that there was no arguing (it was drawn up for the children by the children), and we'd score a legitimate day off.

One thing about doing the dishes with brothers, was that they'd be naughty. Girls chat; boys play. One brother in particular would towel-flick my backside, while I washed up and he was supposed to be drying. In my defence, I'd flick soap suds up at his face.

Good times!!

The reason this memory comes back to me is that play time is good time; it's time well-spent.

That play time can be something you can do with the kids, or with your sweetheart. The question is, how do you get that person into the kitchen??? Well, let's stick with that person being the love of your life (or thereabouts!).

The trick is, not to make it feel like you are asking them to do work. You are not nagging them, or badgering them (even if you really have been). You need to stop feeling like you are banging your head against every wall in the house, and instead, feel like a bit of Bad Company, or Roberta Flack. Maybe you need a little Marvin Gaye with that? Or Barry White?

Oh, Baby!

There's always role-play too ... Maybe, someone plays the the maid and someone plays the butler. Dress up, get into the roles, and have some high expectations! I didn't say who had to be which character! Maybe there's a chef, or a stable-hand? Go with it! One person gets to be the "toff" with a servant, and they can play around with it (and then swap).

Smiling man in frilly apron in front of a smiling woman
(c) HILObrow

There is nothing so sexy as a man wearing an apron, in front of a kitchen he's just cleaned up. Who cares if he didn't do that last plate perfectly? What a great reason to send it back for quality assurance, with a twinkle in your eye and a sultry stroke of fingertips down the back of his scalp?

Nothing works like a twinkle in your eye and a naughty grin! Try singing a bit more Marvin Gaye, while standing in the doorway to the room you want your partner to enter (so you can get them to clean it up). You can't sing this song angry!

There are other tips. Fingertips come to mind (yes, Barry White is STILL in my head). The kitchen is such a great place to "get it on". Think of how many senses can be stimulated in there. What are your favourite flavours? What textures do you like? The scents of cookies being baked, coffee being grinded ... a little towel-flick here, and a lash-flutter there! And .. there ARE benches ...

Other rooms come to mind too. As much as I hate vacuuming, it really suits a little bump here and there to The Emotions! One vacuums and another dusts. That duster could come in handy too ... and someone might join in with Captain and Tennille.

How to get the bathroom clean? Hmmmm. I wonder what to do with that shower? Are you getting creative yet? Do you need a shower head on the end of a hose?

If you need more ideas, try stuff out! See what happens when you stroke the back of their hands, while asking for what you want. Me? I'm big of hand hygiene, so the sensual act of washing someone else's hands is what works. Not nagging.

Generally speaking, people in loving relationships like to be touched sensitively and caringly. Generally, people like singing and dancing and having fun. People like a laugh, and to have an audience. Give it!!

Last hyperlink of the day - Captain and Tennille with Neil Sedaka, because I always loved this song :)

Now, if you are still struggling, maybe you need some other tools - such as books, meditations, meditation school, a tarot and oracle card reading, or to consider what kinds of transitions you need to make in your life (Ahem. I am Certified Results Coach, and you can book a free strategy session over the phone, anywhere in the world).


Just ask yourself, "Do I want every aspect of my life to be a 10/10?" Well, it's never too late (unless my diary is full).

All you need to do, to book in for your first coaching session, is choose! You probably know at least 3-4 people, who have come to mind while you've read this post. Why not buy them a gift certificate for their birthday? It doesn't matter where they are, because coaching is actually best when delivered over the phone. And there's the absolutely fantastic 8-Week Breakthrough Results Program, if you are really committed to living your most authentic life.

Now, maybe you need some other tools - such as books, meditations, meditation school, a tarot and oracle card reading, or to consider what kinds of transitions you need to make in your life (Ahem. I am Certified Results Coach, and you can book a free strategy session over the phone, anywhere in the world).

Feel free to like, comment, and share ...

Please remember, if you like what I have to say, please feel free to purchase books and meditations, and to leave a comment! Two happy reviews on Amazon and other online retailers earn subscribers a 50% discount on their next book (if both are purchased from this website).

Disclaimer: Of course I played all the songs hyperlinked in this post!!! And some Janis Joplin too ... Go on, get up and dance!


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