Updated: Feb 12, 2022
To know what is truly being communicated, we need to use our senses, logic and intuition.
First, that means we learn to use all the senses necessary.
If someone is speaking, then we listen to the content of what's being said. We pay attention to prosody (the lilt in a person's voice, the way they emphasise certain words, how quickly or slowly they speak, as well as the volume of their voice).
We also watch their body language and facial expressions. We focus our eyes on theirs, and watch their brows, cheeks and mouth. Research shows that this triangle, of eyes and mouth, is so very important.
But, we are animals too, and that means that we have the innate ability to sense the pheromones of other people. We sense fear most easily, and adapt our own behaviour to suit the situation.
You might think that this is the point at which I'll segue into intuition, because that concept of sensing another person's emotional state sounds like a logical link.
But there are other "senses" - your sense of direction, perspective, humour, balance and of self.
So, we need to consider agendas - ours, as well as the other party's. What are our needs, wants and aspirations? We're all moving in different directions in life, aren't we?
We need to see the situation from different perspectives; to take the other person's point of view, but also a world's eye view. What are the other's needs, wants and aspirations? What are the ramifications of this negotiation? What else is happening in the community, our country and our world?
Then there is our sense of humour. How does that fit? When we're tired, over-committed, or when we have an over-inflated sense of responsibility, we start to see negative where it doesn't exist, and we lose our sense of humour. We get paranoid.
Sometimes, people try to make light of a situation and we just don't "get" it. Our senses of humour are just not in sync!
So how does our sense of self fit in? If I am confident in who I am, I will be more likely to comprehend your meaning. If I am lacking in confidence, I will be more likely to see a problem where none exists. If my confidence is overinflated, I will think that everything is fine when it isn't. That's just using confidence as one example. How do you see yourself, today?
My sense of self also includes my sense of direction. When I have a purpose, I am motivated to make efforts toward that goal, and that can involve concentrating on improving communication with the people who are significant to me. If I'm overly goal-driven, or lacking in aim, then that will also influence how I relate to others.
Then, there's our sense of balance. Our work-life balance, to be precise. There is plenty of research into how we feel when our needs and wants are (or are not) met. The one thing that we all need and want, at some point, is to feel like we belong.
We often try to change ourselves to fit in with our peers, or the people whom we want to be our peers. This minimises our innate uniqueness. What if we could see ourselves for who we truly are, accept ourselves with all our imperfections, and still shine our own beautiful lights in the world?
So, let's think about logic and intuition now. How do you get intuition? Is it something you're born with, or a talent that you develop?
Well, if you look at the development of intuition logically, you'll see that the people who pay attention to all the cues of themselves and other humans, using all the strategies I mentioned already, are people who are intuitive.
Put another way, anyone can learn to be intuitive. When you use all your senses, it becomes a natural way to live. Like muscle memory, your body automatically picks up on nuances, because you've made the effort to practise.
What you do with the knowledge you gain from this natural way of living, then becomes "intuitive".
It takes courage to act on your intuition, but you learn to test it by doing exactly that.
You can use your intuition to choose which jobs to apply for, which person to ask on a date ... all kinds of things.
Be aware of your feelings, and take a chance on opportunities which would logically be perfect for you. Or near perfect ... if they feel like you ... and you'll know.
If you like the way I write, you will definitely enjoy my books, meditations, and meditation school. Maybe, a tarot and oracle card reading is more your thing; it's very personal (just you and me, over WhatsApp, followed up by your own summary email).
Either way, if you wish to consider what kinds of strategies you need in your life, I am a Certified Results Coach so a free strategy session over the phone, anywhere in the world is always a great start.
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